Understanding Soft Skills: The Vital Skills No One Teaches
It is a cultural value that elevates objectivity over subjectivity. I distinctly remember people speaking poorly of soft sciences because they lacked the quantifiable objectivity of hard sciences, real sciences. Hard and soft skills were painted with the same brush. Disdain offered for the soft skills while priority was given to “real” skills.
But more and more, I see a shift, especially as we move out of schools into workplaces. Especially as leaders are looking at their team and trying to figure out what the hitch is meeting their goals. It’s not sub-par excel skills.
I’ll hire soft skills over hard skills any day of the week.
Hard Skills
These skills are objective and quantifiable. They are clear cut. This makes them easy to teach and easy to learn.
Do you know how to make a dropdown menu in Sheets? Yes or No?
Do you know how to create a webpage using this web editor? Yes or No?
Can you use Canva to create a slidedeck? Yes or No?
If the answer is yes, you’ll be able to prove it real quick. If the answer is no, I can teach you; and then the answer will be yes.
Soft skills? They’re a different story.
Soft Skills
These are soft and squishy. There are no hard lines and it’s really hard to know if you’re doing it right, or if you’re doing it at all. Even when you feel like you’re good at certain soft skills, different factors can arise that require a nuance that hard skills don’t need. This makes soft skills remarkably challenging, both to learn and to teach.
So many of my soft skill coachees have told me that they’ve constantly been told to work on their soft skills by their college counselors, but they’ve never had any opportunity provided to them before.
Soft Skills don’t fit into the curricula or programs well and they’re so squishy they feel hard to teach. I know I’ve had days where I show up with a meager offering of words and hope they’re enough to make a difference. And most often, those words end up making a huge difference. A paradigm shift often only requires a few words. But soft skills are still not commonly taught. In fact, many of the people I coach need me to start by defining soft skills.
What are soft skills?
Unlike hard skills, which are specific, teachable abilities related to a particular job or industry, soft skills are largely interpersonal skills that enable you to navigate the complexities of working with others and excelling in your professional environment. For some people, some soft skills may come more easily, but they can be cultivated in anyone.
They encompass a wide range of abilities, including:
- Communication: Effectively conveying your ideas and actively listening to others.
- Teamwork: Collaborating effectively with colleagues towards a shared goal.
- Problem-solving: Identifying and resolving issues efficiently and creatively.
- Time management: Prioritizing tasks, organizing your workload, and meeting deadlines.
- Adaptability: Adjusting to change, embracing new challenges, and learning new things.
- Leadership: Inspiring and motivating others, taking initiative, and making sound decisions.
- Receptiveness to Feedback: The ability to graciously receive feedback and make appropriate adjustments.
Why are soft skills important?
Hard skills are why your resume is on a given desk. You applied to work in computer science or mental health or underwater photography because you (presumably) already have some hard skills in that area. But as hiring managers start sifting through that stack of resumes, soft skills are often what set you apart from other candidates and contribute to your long-term success. They play a vital role in:
- Ability to work well with supervisors
- Ability to work well with colleagues
- Ability to work well with your team
- Ability to work well with customers and clients
Developing your soft skills
Hard skills are most often taught first in formal education, then in training, and are often further cultivated in experiential learning. I learned how to use Sheets in school and I wrote that on my resume; onboarding for my role, my supervisor taught me how to navigate the company Sheets including new skills I hadn’t had before; as I continue using Sheets, I search new formulas or ways to conditionally format and I learn more every day. This is how hard skills grow.
Soft skills grow differently. They might start in formal education but have little to no formal education. Children are told to share, to take turns, to get along. On rare occasion are they told what sharing means or how to do it, but they figure it out experientially. In group projects, an assignment is given and formal education on the hard skill, but not formal education on the soft skills of how to work in a group, how to manage someone who isn’t carrying their weight, how to delegate tasks and be responsible for your tasks. These things are learned, or have been learned, experientially. Unless they haven’t.
Terrible group project experiences can be traumatic enough to have a continuing emotional toll into the workplace, where lack of ability to delegate and lack of trust in other team members can cause major performance issues. Because soft skills are 1. Assumed, and 2. Learned without formal instruction.
There are many ways that soft skills can be learned:
- Pick a soft skill you’d like to further develop
- Google it and see if there are readily available resources
- Look for books that provide a deep dive into that soft skill
- Seek opportunities to practice those soft skills
- Spend some time reflecting on your experiences to see how you’re acting in these situations and why you might be doing that
- Look into a coach who can ask great questions to help you pinpoint internal narratives, previous trauma, and paradigm shifts that need to happen to optimize your soft skills growth.
By investing in developing your soft skills, you’re not only enhancing your employability but also equipping yourself with valuable tools for navigating personal and professional relationships throughout your life.
“I just wanted to reiterate how valuable the soft skills development is. I’m noticing myself drawing on them in so many different areas of life!” – Soft Skills Coaching Client
