Stop Fixating on the Sprouts – Thanks in Advance

Hey.

As I sit down to write you – me – a letter, I anticipate this is going to start awkward and get better as we go. That’s the way it always works, right? Starts awkward, gets better. Remember that. Here we go.

I’m standing 10 years in the future and we both know – it’s a helluva lot easier to know it ends well than to be standing in the middle of the unknown with no end in sight. I remember, though, what it was like being where you are. It feels like an endless expanse of a wasteland sprawled in all directions, and you’re not sure that you’re even walking in the right direction. What if you’re going the wrong way and all this time is wasted? 

That’s actually why I’m writing. Because I know what 10 years from now looks like, and you don’t. Yet. 

But here’s the thing, here’s the secret that you know, but maybe you need to hear it again:
There is no one right direction. No matter which direction you go, you will find yourself in a space where you love so much about the life you’re living – because that’s the kind of person that you are. 

But my dear dear self, there’s something you don’t know yet and that is why you angst in the midst of the endless for so long. 

Listen carefully, and guard yourself against despair: 
There is no end.  

Do you remember the blog article we wrote about hating the journey but loving the destination? Do you remember the blog article we wrote about how anticlimactic life is – you reach the destination to find that life is just still ordinary?

You act like there’s an end to this wasteland and if you just walk far enough, you’ll be at your happy ending. But life is no fairy tale and every goal is only a milestone. It doesn’t end – as long as you’re alive the journey continues.  

I don’t write to quell your ambition – by no means. Just because there’s no end doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep going. If you’ll allow me to spoil the “ending,” the work that you’re putting in today changed the trajectory of our life. I do meaningful and important work helping companies and leaders thrive and we would never have gotten here without your ambition. But your ambition tricks you into thinking there’s a destination and the journey is an obstacle. But no. The journey is all there is and you live in contempt of it.

I don’t write to quell ambition but to soothe your anxious state – yes, I see you, how contempt hides your fear. You know as well as I do that when people are operating out of anxiety and fear, their efforts land sour. You’re self-sabotaging but what do you have to be anxious about? You’re not far enough along? You’re not financially stable and your name isn’t out there? There you go again, fixating on the destination instead of the journey.

Here’s the spoiler again:
We are financially stable, we are well-esteemed, and we make a difference in this world. Took us less than 10 years to get here. Might’ve happened faster if you weren’t self-sabotaging. 

You are on the right track for your goals. Now you just need to learn how to enjoy the journey. This isn’t an endless wasteland you’re in the middle of. It’s a field. And yes,
watching for plants to sprout
and then to grow
and some of them die
and waiting and waiting
and waiting for fruit – it’s not the fun part.

But what do you know already, hmm? No sense watching paint dry, a watched pot never boils… so what can we derive about gardening? 

After a workout, what do you relish in? The numbers on the scale? Most certainly not. It’s the meaningful ache in your muscles that tells you you did good work today. Because you’re already strong? No. Because you’re strengthening. 

Remember what I said about you being the kind of person who finds so much to love about the life you’re living right now? You can do that during the journey – not just at the destination.
Stop fixating on the sprouts. 

Thanks in advance,
Your Future Me