When The Pattern Is Them: Building Communication Skills Before The Problem Gets Bigger
Miscommunication is an inevitable part of communication.
But sometimes there’s a deeper problem.
Sometimes you’ll notice that one person miscommunicates at a rate that’s noticeably higher than your other team members. And at a certain point, you realize: this isn’t a series of one-off miscommunications.
This is a person who isn’t skilled at communication yet.
(Respectfully, sometimes a supervisor themself is the common denominator, so be sure to self-reflect to pick the best person to upskill.)
When It’s Not the Situation, It’s the Skill
Most miscommunication is situational. You explained something and it didn’t land. Someone had bad context. The timing was off. You both made assumptions.
So, you unmiscommunicate. Problem solved. Next time, you’ll probably be fine.
But when someone is miscommunicating more often than others, across different topics, with multiple people… it usually points to something different. It points to a skill gap.
This person doesn’t yet have the abilities to communicate in a way that lands consistently. Instead of unmiscommunicating forever, upskilling the team solves the core problem and streamlines communication on your team.
Unmiscommunicating is faster than skills building, in the short term, but skills building creates a more valuable team member.
Of course, miscommunication will still happen. Miscommunication is an inevitable part of communication. But if you take the time build communication skills on your team, it should happen less frequently.
A closer look at the Communications Skill Gap: Meet Chris
If Chris miscommunicates at a higher rate than your other team members, you need to understand what Chris is missing.
- the ability to communicate clearly the why, the directions, and what done looks like
- the ability to confirm that the other person has understood
- the ability to analyze why they themselves are confused
- the ability to ask targeted questions to clarify the missing information
Any of these missing skills will cause constant miscommunication.
The difference between someone who miscommunicates rarely and someone who miscommunicates often isn’t usually intelligence. It’s usually whether they have these skills or not.
What fixing the Communications Skill Gap Actually Looks Like
This starts with you being direct about what you’re seeing.
Miscommunication is frustrating. Most of the time people who miscommunicate are aware a problem exists and that they’re experiencing it, and they would love a solution. So you investing in upskilling them will probably be welcome.
“I’ve noticed there’s been a lot of miscommunication lately. Have you noticed that? … Why do you think that is? … There are some skills that can be helpful whether you’re the person giving instruction or hearing instruction. I’d like to help you build some of these skills so work feels easier!”
Then you can get specific about which skills. Or more accurately, which subskills.
Any skill (i.e. communication) is a combination of various subskills: actions and behaviors that people know how and when to utilize. Which subskills does Chris need to be able to communicate better?
- Asking clarifying questions vs guessing and getting it wrong.
- Teach them the difference between “What?” and “I’m confused about which project this is for.”
- Checking for understanding vs assuming alignment
- Show them that assuming someone understands is different from confirming that they do.
- Being specific vs asking vague questions
- Teach them how to pause to figure out what kind of miscommunication happened, so we can choose the right repair attempt. (Read: What “What” for more information.)
- Listening carefully vs hearing part of what you said and guessing at the blanks
- Teach them how to avoid distractions and ask wh- questions or supply the suggested blank to confirm accuracy in understanding. I.e. We need to get the report done by the end of the day. “Which report?” or “The Q3 report?”
- Eliciting information when someone else is confused vs just answering the question and missing the real problem underneath.
- Read Elicit, Don’t Answer for more information
It’s well worth the time it takes to fix
Here’s what happens when you help someone upskill their communication:
They stop creating miscommunication at such a high rate. Their working relationships improve. They feel more competent. They move faster through work because they’re not constantly having to backtrack and realign.
They also become more valuable to the organization. Communication skills are foundational. They affect everything else. Someone who can communicate clearly will be more effective in every role they move into. Every project they work on. Every team they join.
By helping Chris build their communication skills now, you’re not just solving the problem of constant miscommunication with you. You’re building something that will benefit Chris for the rest of their career.
How do you know if you need to up-skill your employees communication?
Ask yourself: is this person miscommunicating at an above-average rate compared to their peers, across different topics and different people? If yes, it’s time to build the skill.
Ask yourself: do I have the time and energy to coach someone on communication fundamentals or, if not, can I outsource this skills building? If yes, do it. The payoff is huge.
Ask yourself: am I willing to invest in this person’s development knowing that it might take weeks or months of consistent coaching? If yes, you’re ready! If not, you need to think about whether this role is the right fit for that person right now.
The Difference Between Filling a Communication Skill Gap and overcoming Communications Barriers
This is different from the seven communication barriers I talk about here.
The barriers are about situational things blocking communication on a specific topic. Fear of consequences. Unknown expectations. Missing capacity.
What we’re talking about here is foundational communication ability.
Someone with strong communication skills can navigate around most barriers. They ask the right questions. They clarify. They elicit information. They get on the same page even when it’s hard.
Someone without those skills will struggle more often, in more situations, with more people.
If you’ve worked through the barriers and the miscommunication is still consistently happening, you’re most likely looking at a communications skill gap.
